Syncing a Fitbit Ace 2 with a Fire Kids Edition Tablet

Things to know before you get started:

1. Fire Kids Edition tablets are not officially compatible with Fitbit trackers.  If you desire a device that makes syncing a cinch, pick one from this list.  FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS AT YOUR OWN RISK.  You can get your child's Ace 2 to sync with the Fire Kids Edition tablet, but it involves changing settings that lower the security and stability posture of your device.
2. These instructions are for the Fire 7 Kids Edition Tablet, 7th Generation.  At the time these instructions were written, it was running Fire OS 5.6.4.0 (636559920), which according to Wikipedia is the latest version for Fire HD 8 and Fire HD 10 (7th Edition) and is analogous to Android 5.1.1 Lollipop.
3. There is a Fitbit app available in the Appstore, but it is not compatible with Fitbit Family Accounts.  At the time these instructions were written, the version of the Fitbit app available in the Appstore is 2.63, but the first version with Family Account is 2.72.  The latest version of the Fitbit app that works with Android 5 is 3.4.1, and I don't expect there will be any more updates compatible with this version of Android.
4. Technology changes rapidly, and there is no guarantee how long this method will continue to work.
5. You (the parent) will need your own Fitbit account in order to create a Family Account.  You can create a profile for each of your children under the Family account.  If your child is 13 or over then they can create their own account, but a child that age or older probably doesn’t want an Ace 2, which is targeted to ages 6+.  Fitbit has an extensive and helpful FAQ for setting up Fitbit Ace devices.
6. These instructions assume you have some familiarity with the Fire Kids Tablet and can navigate between users (parent and child).

How to sync a Fitbit Ace 2 with a Fire Kids Edition Tablet

1. Sign into the Fire Kids Edition Tablet with the parent's account.  You will need access to many system settings and features that are not available when signed in as a child in the Freetime mode.
2. Go to Settings > Security & Privacy.  Under Advanced, enable Apps from Unknown Sources.  It will give you a warning.  Make sure to read it and decide if installing the Fitbit app is worth the risk.  This is your "Matrix moment" to take the "blue pill" and keep this setting disabled, or take the "red pill" and try to get this to work.  I felt like the risk was low since Fitbit is a well regarded technology company.  The more apps you install this way, the more risk you introduce with your device, so follow this method with caution.  As your tablet warns you, "you are solely responsible for any damage to your Fire or loss of data that may result."  Tap OK to continue.
3. Using the Silk web browser, download the APK for the Fitbit app.  This is a method of app installation known as "Sideloading."  APKMirror is regarded as a reliable site for downloading older versions of Android apps, but again, download and use at your own risk.
4. Open the APK file.  You can Open from the Silk browser once it completes, or you can use the Docs app and go to the Download folder.  It has a super long file name: com.fitbit.FitbitMobile_3.4.1-20213430_minAPI21(arm64-v8a,armeabi-v7a,x86,x86_64)(nodpi)_apkmirror.com.apk.  Again, you will want to read over the Privacy and Device Access warnings and decide for yourself if it is worth the risk.  Then tap INSTALL.  This install feels like it takes forever, but hang in there.  It should complete after about 3 full minutes.
5. Tap on OPEN to make sure that it was installed correctly.  You will want your child to be able to sync with their own profile, so don’t login, just close the app.
6. If you have an SD card to expand storage, make sure to "Move to Tablet."  Our tablet has an SD card so that we can store more music, videos, and apps without taking up storage on the device.  However, we found that both Minecraft and Fitbit need to be stored on the device Storage in order to work properly.  This may be a limitation for any apps that are shared by a Parent account to a child's account.  To do this, go to Settings > Apps & Games > Manage All Applications, and tap on Fitbit and tap on "Move to Tablet."
7. Share the Fitbit app with your child's profile.  Go to Settings > Profiles & Family Library.  Choose your child’s profile and tap on Add Content.  Tap on Share Content, tap on Games, select Fitbit and tap DONE.  You are now ready to test the app using your child’s profile.
8. Switch to your child’s profile and "download" the app.  The Fitbit app should appear in the list Added For You.  When they click on it, it will take a minute to download to their profile.
9. Once the app is successfully downloaded and you can open it, you will need to sign in with the Parent account.  Then under Account choose My Family and select your child’s profile by clicking on Switch to Kids View.
10. Once in Kids View, click on your child’s profile icon and tap “Set up a Device”.  You will need Bluetooth turned on to complete this process, and the app will walk you through the steps.

Troubleshooting

This process took me several hours to figure out, and I ran into a lot of issues along the way.  I wrote this article to save you some time, and hopefully you can learn from some of my mistakes.  Here are a few issues and how I resolved them:

• "App not installed."  I downloaded the APK to the tablet, was able to open it and start the install process, but it gave me the message "App not installed." - such a helpful message!  I downloaded several APKs and tried installing different versions of the app, but none of them worked.  Thinking there might be an issue with the install files from APKMirror, I sideloaded the Google Play store to try and install the app (it chose 3.4.1 for my device).  When I did so, it shared a more helpful message that an incompatible version of the app was already installed.  Then I remembered that I had installed the Fitbit app from the Appstore.  While I had uninstalled the app  (Settings > Apps & Games > Manage All Applications, tap on Fitbit, tap the Uninstall button), apparently it was not fully uninstalled.  I clicked on the 3 dots to "Uninstall for all users," and after removing the app from all profiles, I was finally able to install a newer version of the Fitbit app successfully.
• “There was an error: Please try again or contact Amazon Customer Service.”  I got to the point when the Fitbit app was showing up under my child's profile, but the Download was not succeeding.  The app icon showed an exclamation point.  When I long-clicked and chose show Show Error, it said “There was an error: Please try again or contact Amazon Customer Service.”  Since this is a sideloaded app, Amazon Customer Service will not be able to help you.  What fixed this issue for me was moving the app from the SD card to the Tablet, outlined in Step 6 above.
• "Unable to locate device."  The app was installed, I logged in and chose my child's Fitbit profile, but the Ace 2 would not sync with the tablet.  I was concerned that there was a Bluetooth incompatibility between the tablet and the Ace 2, but what turned out to be the issue was that I had already been syncing my child's tracker to my phone, and it can only sync with one device at a time.  To resolve this, I synced the Ace 2 with my phone one last time to save all of their data, and then I removed the Ace 2 from their profile (in the Fitbit app, tap on the child's icon, tap on the Ace 2 tile, and scroll down to the bottom and tap on "Remove This Ace 2").  I then opened the app on the tablet and set up the device (steps 9 & 10 above).  The tablet found the device, I was able to enter the code, and there was much rejoicing!

Join a Group This Year!

In December our Executive Director of Ministry asked me to form and lead our new Groups Team.  This is a strategically important new initiative in our church, one that I am passionate about, and one that I am really looking forward to getting off the ground!  Our first project is to encourage folks in our church community to join a small group this January.  With the help of our new Communications Team, we produced the following video that was shown last Sunday during both worship services:

Disclaimer: The cover picture is indeed yours truly, but I promise I did not pick it!  I guess YouTube likes my shirt...

I encourage you to join a group in your church this year - whether it is at Narberth Presbyterian or not, whether it is a class or a small group, whether you have had good or bad experiences with church groups in the past.  Even Jesus had a group of twelve guys with him!

Groups are the ideal place to make some new friends this year, grown in your faith, and have some fun - so go for it!

Check out the groups we have starting up this January and sign up for one.  If you don't see one you like, please contact me - we start new groups all the time.

When Less Really Is More

(I wrote this devotional for Woodside Church's upcoming "Love the World" devotional.)

Read: John 3:22-36

People crave attention and power, whether its roots be in celebrity, politics, or business.  We are fascinated by stories of how the rich and famous rise to power, and riveted when they stumble and fall.  So when Pope Benedict surprised the world and resigned the papacy, the media was confounded:  Was there a scandal behind the scenes?  Was he ill and about to die?  Why would a person willingly let go of such power and fame?

The disciples of John the Baptist had a similar question for their teacher: “What should we do about this Jesus movement?”  John had built up quite a following by the Jordan River; even the leaders in Jerusalem were coming out to see him because of the crowds.  But now the people were leaving him and going to Jesus.  John’s response: “He must become greater, I must become less.”  He knew that the veneration he enjoyed was not his own, but came from heaven.  And he experienced fullness of joy in turning it all back over to the Lord of heaven, Jesus Christ.  When “He must become greater, I must become less” is the prayer of our hearts, we are able to experience this joy also.

Pope Benedict is now being hailed for his humility in relinquishing power to Pope Francis, who in turn has become renowned for his own demonstrations of humility.  While we Presbyterians do not submit to these Catholic leaders, we can appreciate their examples of humility and follow suit by submitting more of our lives to Jesus.

Action Step: Is there something you need to let go of so that Christ can become greater in your life?

Prayer: “Lord, help me become less so that you can become greater in my sight.”

The Fruit of the Spirit vs. Sacred Raisin Cakes

Meditation: The Fruit of the Spirit vs. Sacred Raisin Cakes

I gave this meditation at Camp Innabah for Narberth Presbyterian Church's Congregational Retreat on Sunday, May 25, 2014.  The scripture passages were Hosea 3, Galatians 5:16-25 and John 15:1-11.

After our retreat at Camp Innabah last year, I swore to Allie that I would never preach during the same retreat that I was also preparing and leading the lessons for our youth - whoops!  Actually, my willingness to preach today was not so much out of my own preference, but more as a direct result of the movement of the Spirit of God in my heart.  Until last Sunday I was not planning to prepare a message for this morning.  But as sometimes happens during Pastor Steve’s sermons, I found my mind wandering last Sunday, and it was flooded with insights about the topic of “Fruit“, particularly the fruit of the Spirit.  It seemed like this would complement both what the youth have been learning about Spiritual gifts, as well as what the adults have been learning about the Seven Men and the Secret of Their Greatness.

It all started in our last Confirmation class last Sunday.  Over the course of the year we have been reading short passages of Scripture, mostly relating to the day’s topic, working towards the goal of reading at least one verse from all 66 books of the Bible.  I have to confess that by the final class, the passages don’t relate very much to the topic of the day.  One of our passages was from Hosea 3, which starts out: The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress.  Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”  At that point some of the students began to laugh, and I had to admit that sometimes passages of Scripture can seem pretty funny to us who live in a culture so far removed from the Ancient Near East.  I mean, c’mon!  Which of us has ever been tempted to choose a raisin cake over God?  And how could a raisin cake be sacred?  We ended up joking about this several times before the class was over.

But I did explain that we need to remember that raisins, and all fruit for that matter, were a very special treat in the Ancient Near East.  We lose sight of this today in America when we have access to any fruit we want year-round.  When it is winter here, we have fruit flown up from South America.  The bananas may start out a little green, but they are cheap and plentiful any time of the year.  Not so in ancient Israel: there were no freezers, no ice boxes, no refrigerators, and it took a long time for goods to travel over great distances.  If you were to eat fruit, you had to wait until it was in-season, until the fruit trees and plants growing near you were bearing ripened fruit.  Fruit was precious; it was a very special treat, something to be savored.

Of course waiting for produce to be in-season is not a totally foreign concept for us today.  In the U.S. it is usually marked by a lower price of the product that is in-season.  Several years ago, B.K. (“before kids”), we visited Allie’s sister in Berlin, Germany.  We discovered that a certain delicacy was in season, and every restaurant had a “Spargel” menu.  We started to guess what “Spargel” was - English is a Germanic language after all - Was Spargel strawberries? Star fruit? Some European fruit unknown to us?  It turned out to be...aparagus!  We saw asparagus at every restaurant and every grocery store and every market.  My personal favorite was the “Spargel Creme-Suppe” - which was cream of asparagus soup.  You can probably think of some special treat in the place that you grew up that only comes around once a year, whether it is Rita’s opening, or a pumpkin pie, apple cider, or some other seasonal delicacy.

When God first created the world, there were two fruit trees in the Garden of Eden, and though it is not specifically mentioned in the text, I am inclined to think that these trees bore fruit year round.  One was the Tree of Life, which is prophesied in the book of Revelation to be present again at the end of time in the heavenly city, and it will bear twelve kinds of fruit, yielding fruit every month.  This is a picture of incredible vitality and luxurious abundance available to God’s people.  And yet the other tree in the Garden of Eden was the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil - which reminds us of the first time that humans chose fruit over the God who created it.  And then of course there were those pesky raisin cakes!  Throughout Scripture, from the Garden of Eden, to the decorations of fruit adorning the temple, to the heavenly city in Revelation, we are reminded that relationship with God, and the love and grace He lavishes upon us is more precious and more to be desired than even fruit.

And what better illustration of God’s personal work in our lives is there than fruit?  In his parable of the vine and the branches, Jesus tells us that through a relationship with him, we will bear fruit, and more fruit, much fruit, abiding fruit! if only we will abide and remain in him.  Why fruit?  It is precious.  It takes time to cultivate.  It is appealing to look at, and it tastes good.  Fruit is the outward sign confirming God’s presence and work in a believer’s life.  Every believer bears Spiritual fruit to one degree or another.

However, the fruit of the Spirit is different from Spiritual gifts.  Spritual gifts such as leadership, evangelism, giving, and healing, are surely a sign of God’s work through a follower of Christ and to be used for the glory of God.  But as we learned in our sessions yesterday, God gives different gifts to different people.  No believer is given all of the gifts of the Spirit.  The Seven Men the adults learned about were clearly given different Spiritual gifts:

·        George Washington was given leadership - he faithfully led a ragtag army to defeat the most powerful nation on Earth and set careful precedents as President of a new nation that would become the most powerful on Earth.

·        William Wilberforce was given discernment - he recognized the injustice of slavery that was widely accepted by his contemporary society.  He was given prophecy and exhortation as he pointed out this injustice and convinced others to outlaw it forever.

·        Chuck Colson was given mercy, reaching out to those in prison who were discarded as hopeless by our society.  He was given wisdom and encouraged believers in Christ to develop a Christ-honoring worldview in contrast to the destructive values held by our surrounding culture.

Spiritual gifts are given to bless others - to build up the church, to help believers grow in their faith and their Christ-likeness, and to bless even the world around us, including those who don’t believe yet.  Likewise, the Fruit of the Spirit that God cultivates in each of us are not given to make us feel good, or to take pride in ourselves, but rather to bless those around us.  We are to be the aroma of Christ, his living body in this world, demonstrating the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness of God to everyone around us.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit we are being transformed by the renewing of our minds, we are a holy people, set apart for God.  And we are a reconciling people, bringing people back into peaceful relationships with each other, and with God.

Much like the Spargel menus Allie and I saw in Germany, God has given us a menu of Spiritual fruit in Galatians 5: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  And the good news for us today is that we are not limited to just one item, but we can have the whole menu!  As we remain in Christ - as we walk by the Spirit, are led by the Spirit, live by the Spirit, and keep in step with the Spirit, He produces fruit in us that is precious in the sight of men - so that instead spurning God and choosing “sacred raisin cakes”, people will be attracted to Jesus Christ and his amazing grace and love for all of us.

May you use the Spiritual gifts God has given you for His glory and for the edification of the church, and may you bear fruit in keeping with repentance, displaying the glorious riches you have received by God’s grace in Christ Jesus.

My Home in Christ, Christ’s Home in Me

I gave this sermon at Camp Innabah for Narberth Presbyterian Church's Congregational Retreat on Sunday, May 26.  The scripture passages were Psalm 91 and Luke 19:1-10.

Introduction

Who is ready to go home?  Who wants to stay longer?  At the end of a retreat we are either ready to go home, or hoping that time will slow down a little bit and delay our departure.  The thought of home fills us with a mixture of emotions – some of them good and some of them bad.  For some of us, home is where we find rest from our work.  For others of us, it is where we work.

One day a husband came home from work to find bikes and scooters blocking the driveway, and found one of his three children outside, still in his pajamas, playing in the mud.  The front door to the house was open and there was no sign of the dog.  Coming inside, he found an even bigger mess.  A lamp had been knocked over, and there was a red juice stain on the carpet.  In the living room the TV was loudly blaring Sponge Bob Square Pants and his second child was drawing on the wall with lipstick.  Toys and various items of clothing were strewn everywhere.  In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.  He quickly headed up the stairs, looking for his wife, worried something terrible had happened.  He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.  As he peered inside he found wet towels and his third child in a tub overflowing with bubbles.  Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.  As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.  She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.  He looked at her incredulously and asked, 'What happened here today?'  She smiled as she answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?'  'Yeah?' was his incredulous reply.  'Well, today I didn't do it. '[i]

It’s a lot of work to maintain a home, especially if children are involved!  But when a home is at it’s best, it is a place where we can find refuge from the distractions of this world.  It is a place where we can find unconditional love and support.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could take home with us wherever we go?

1) Christ is Our Home

One of the interesting things about the Bible is that it tells us that God’s people can do just this – take home with them wherever they go!  In our responsive reading this morning, verse 9 of Psalm 91 tells us to make God our dwelling place, our refuge, our home.  No matter where we are – at Camp Innabah, in Narberth, or even in New Jersey – our home, the God of the universe, is right there with us.  One of the visual pictures we have of this in the Old Testament is the tabernacle.  You see, when God was leading His people out of slavery in Egypt to the Promised Land, he went ahead of them in a pillar of fire and smoke.  The pillar of smoke would shelter them from the burning desert sun, and the pillar of fire would light their way at night.  Whenever they stopped moving, his presence would reside inside a tent called the tabernacle.  It was sort of a mobile home for God.  So wherever God’s people went, their God and their dwelling place went with them.

What does it mean to make God our home?  What does that look like?  Psalm 91 helps us answer this question as well.  God speaks in verses 14-16, and describes the person who seeks refuge in Him as someone who loves God.  Someone who believes in Him.  Someone who talks with Him.  When we put our trust in Christ, when we repent of our sins and look to Jesus for our salvation, we are making God our home in the form of a loving relationship with Him.

Allie and I got caught up in Downton Abbey just in time for the season to end, so to get our British drama fix until season 4 starts we have been watching “Call the Midwife”.  A recent episode had a very poetic description of home:

"Home is not simply a mark upon a map any more than a river is just water. It is the place at the center of the compass from which every arrow radiates and where the heart is fixed.  It is a force that forever draws us back- or lures us on.  For where the home is there lies hope, and the future waits and everything is possible."

When Christ is our home, He is the center of our compass, He is the object of our affection and the desire of our hearts, He fills us with hope, and He both calls us to Him and sends us out to draw others to their true home as well.

But perhaps even more remarkable than the fact that we can find our home in Christ, Christ makes his home in us.

2) Christ’s Home s In Us

Allie and I really enjoy welcoming visitors into our home, even though there is often a lot of work involved.  I enjoy the excuse to tidy up the house to get things more presentable, and I think Allie enjoys being able to take more time than usual to prepare a special meal for all of us.  Drew and Zach enjoy getting to know new people, and often they have loving hugs to offer.

I have found that some people feel like this is what they need to do before they become a Christian.  They say, “I’ll become a Christian once I give up smoking, or give up drinking, or give up swearing” or whatever thing it is they regularly do that they know displeases God.  And in some respects I commend people like this, because it shows they have a high view of God’s goodness, realizing that when we are a follower of Christ, we need to be our best selves.  But I’m afraid that’s not really how it works to be in a relationship with Jesus.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  We can’t get our lives cleaned up enough to please God, because he is good and holy through and through.  He is perfect – and we are not.

Amidst all of our failures, all of our sins, all of our shortcomings, we must invite Him in anyway.  Zaccheaus, the little, sinful, cheating tax collector, had no time to clean up his house or get his life in order before Jesus came over.  But Jesus came over anyway.  In fact, Jesus said he wanted to come over!  And Zaccheaus welcomed him in.  It is the same with us, and it is really quite unbelieveable.  The Lord of the Universe is inviting himself over, hoping that we will welcome Him in.  And when we do, the King of kings and Lord of lords, the Holy Holy Holy One is gracious to us and comes in and accepts us as we are, warts and all.  In John 14:23,  Jesus says, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”  Jesus wants to make our hearts his home.

But that is not the end of the story when the Holy Spirit comes into our hearts.  Ben Franklin said that “fish and visitors stink after three days.”  And perhaps you have experienced the frustration of a guest who overstayed their welcome at your house!  But when we ask Jesus to come into our hearts, he doesn’t say thanks for the hospitality and depart after just a few days, or a month, or even a year – he moves in for life!  Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 that “He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.”  Once the Holy Spirit is in us, he takes over!  And he has every right to, because Jesus paid the mortgage with his blood.  We owed a debt we could not repay, and so Jesus paid it for us through his death on the cross.  And now that the place is his, he is going to start renovating.

You see, usually we clean up before a visitor arrives, but when Jesus is our guest, he is the one who does the housekeeping.  Our sins have been forgiven and will be forgiven, but there are some sinful habits that remain, and he starts pointing them out to us.  Some things he does away with himself, and some things he delegates to us to take care of with the help of the Holy Spirit.  The end result of this divine home makeover is a heart – indeed a life – that is fit for a king.

Conclusion

There was a talented high school football player who was being recruited by all of the best schools in the nation.  When he visited the University of Alabama, he noticed a platinum phone sitting on Coach Saban’s desk.  The recruit asked, “Coach, what is this platinum phone for?”  Coach Saban smiled slyly and said, “Son, that phone is a direct line to God.  For one million dollars I can make a call and speak with the Maker of Champions – you don’t win two national championships in three years without some divine intervention!”  The recruit was impressed, and on his next visit to the University of Florida he noticed a gold phone sitting on Coach Smart’s desk.  The recruit asked, “Coach, what is this gold phone for?”  Coach Smart smiled and said, “Son, that phone is a direct line to God.  For half a million dollars I can make a call and speak with the Great Reviver – you can’t turn around a football program without some divine intervention!”  The recruit was impressed, but on his next visit at the University of Georgia all he saw was a plain black phone sitting on Coach Richt’s desk, so he asked, “Coach, Nick Saban has a platinum phone that can call God for a million dollars and Kirby Smart has a gold phone that can call God for half a million dollars – don’t you have a phone that can call God too?”  Coach Richt smiled, and said, “Son, around here heaven is a local call!”[ii]

When Christ is our home, and when Christ’s home is in us, heaven is a local call.  We have a direct line of communication with the Savior of the world and the lover of our souls.  It would be wise for us – and it is vital for our faith – to spend much time in prayer, to phone home.

This is a great mystery: Christ is our home, and at the same time Christ’s home is in us.  The mystery gets even more mind-blowing when we consider that Christ’s home is not just in us as individuals, but also all of us collectively as the church.  In Christ, we are the body and he is our head – all of us together form a home for Jesus.  And while Christ is certainly our home in this life, another great mystery is that he says that he is preparing an eternal home for us in heaven, even better than we can experience today.  John 14:2 says “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.”  The Greek word translated there as “room” is the same word in verse 23 that is translated as ‘home’: “We will come to him and make our home with him.” So you might say, “In my Father’s house are many ‘homes’” – in either case, the mystery is profound: our home now and forever is in Christ, and Christ’s home now and forever is in us.

When you look for the word “home” in the New Testament, very often – almost half the time – you will see it preceded by “return” or “go back.”  Typically the most exciting moment in a baseball game is a home run, and the same can be said for our lives as well – and so I urge you to run home.  No matter where you live, no matter where you go, your home is in Christ and his home is in you.  Let us now go home in the peace of Christ.

---

[i] This joke is merged and edited from two versions I found online: http://bethanygaddis.wordpress.com/2006/06/28/funny-story-for-stay-at-home-moms-2/ and http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/stay-at-home-moms/archives/funny-little-story-2.html

[ii] I first recall hearing a version of this joke from my dear friend Dave Pratt.